a party invitation.


This is an invitation letter to a party in my frd’s home. We can see how serious a party can be in America.

Names are ******ed to keep the venue confidential.


Ladies & Gentlemen,

As many of you know, last week America won at voting. Pretty soon we’re all going to have a for-realsies president, and I for one couldn’t be prouder. Now, it’s no big deal or anything, but I was actually one of the people that voted for Barack Obama, and so he kind of owes me a favor. Anyway, I’ve decided to call it in by inviting him and his lovely wife Michelle to join us for drinks at 34 Preston on Saturday, November 15 at 9pm to celebrate his victory. Since he’s done with campaigning and he doesn’t start work until January I expect he has plenty of time to come thank me for my efforts on his behalf, and also I suppose to thank Eric’s Dad for saving democracy by mailing my vote. We’ll probably both be getting medals.

Now, I can’t emphasize this enough: POTUS44 is a cosmopolitan man of the world, and he is accustomed to elegance and grandeur far beyond our rough-hewn country ways. We need to all be dressed in our Sunday best, and make sure you bring a six-pack or a bottle of wine. You don’t want to look cheap in front of the future Commander-in-Chief. In my letter to him, I emphasized that anyone not dressed to the nines was an uninvited infiltrator and that the Secret Service should probably just shoot them on sight for safety.

Womenfolk, several of you have already described your outfit to me as wedding-appropriate, and one of you claimed that her’s was even more formal than that. Menfolk, from what I understand it is literally impossible to be attracted to a man who is more shabbily dressed than you. Sciencewise, anyway. So get your jewelry polished, your suit dry cleaned and your hair did, because I don’t want the next Leader of the Free World to think I hang out with a bunch of impoverished grad students – I’m kind of angling for a Cabinet Position … maybe Secretary of Knives.

Anyway, I’ve run out of different terms for President, so this email is over. See you Saturday at 9pm!

Hearts, Stars & Rainbows,
Knife “T****" Fight

P.S. Don’t worry E*** and L**** will be there, too. In my letter to Barack, I may have implied they were members of my household staff … so everybody be cool about that, ok?

3 回應 to “a party invitation.”

  1. Says:


    Your friend is such a big geek!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Justin Says:

    haha, he is a cool guy.

    he will be working in an internet company as a pm.

  3. Carleton Says:

    In addition to being a “big geek" he is also a quite entertaining writer.



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